Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Don't Ever Play These Songs at Your Wedding

I've been to many weddings in my life, starting as a kid.  Remember, I'm from New Orleans.  When I was growing up there were no $187 per person receptions halls.  Everyone was invited to the wedding, including your kids.  As an adult, I've been a bridesmaid many times.  As a result, I've heard lots and lots of wedding songs.  Because of my experiences, I'm begging you to never play these songs at your wedding.  Please, for the love of all that is holy, just don't.

5. "Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler
I actually like this song a lot.  It's perfect for your grandmother's 90th birthday or your parents' 50th anniversary celebration.  But for a wedding?  No.  Trust me on this one.

4. "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion
I'll probably get some flak for this one because it's the song my sister and my dad danced to at her wedding.  I don't have a huge problem with this song either except that it lasts longer than some marriages.  My dad's feet were probably hurting when the song was over.  Do you know what made this part of  my sister's wedding video entertaining?  My mom in the background scratching her butt.  (Sorry for mentioning this here, Mom.  I just had to.)\

3. Any song from Phantom of the Opera
Because nothing says "happy marriage" like a crazy guy in a mask obsessed with a woman he can't have

2. "Color My World" by Chicago
Chicago has recorded many great songs over the years.  This is not one of them.  In fact, it sounds a little like they recorded it in someone's garage.  If you want the DJ to play a Chicago song at your wedding reception, pick "You're the Inspiration" instead.  That's a great one.  This one is not.

And the number one song to not play at your wedding is...

"After the Lovin'" by Engelbert Humperdinck!
Back in the day, women swooned all over Engelbert.  I have no idea why.  Tom Jones, yeah.  Engelbert, no.  But I digress.  This song is the worst Engelbert Humperdinck song I've ever heard.  In fact, it's the only Engelbert Humperdinck song I've heard.  It was enough, though.  Brides, DO NOT EVER PLAY THIS SONG AT YOUR WEDDING!  Just please don't.

I'd love to know what you think.  Please feel free to share any wedding songs you dislike or if you think I'm crazy for not liking these songs.



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